APRIL 2026

April 27, 2026

Okay so I totally fucking lied on that last one. I realized I have way more to say than I initially thought.

April 23, 2026

Been thinking about the past a lot lately. Mainly for music. I have been listening back to a lot of the Matchhead recordings that I took at practice. I miss it a lot because I haven't had an experience quite like it since we broke up. We would go into Ben's basement and play music from four p.m. until twelve a.m. (I'll update this later).

April 22, 2026

Been listening to a lot of prog rock lately, primarily Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. I should be lobotomized.
Actually though, I don't really know what draws me to this kind of music. I don't like a lot of it but I keep giving it so many chances for absolutely no reason. For example: I have tried listening to Brain Salad Surgery on multiple occasions, probably because the album art is so fucking awesome, but I find nearly every track completely unlistenable, i.e., I get to Benny the Bouncer and I listen to something else.
I think what drives me to continue with a lot of my listening is that when they hit, they REALLY hit. Tarkus is such a great song, their versions of Rondo and Toccata and Pictures at an Exhibition are so good, and though I haven't listened to much of their first album, what I have listened to demonstrates a real level of musicianship and songwriting that makes me wish the REST of their catalogue was like this. It sucks because the good parts of their catalogue really inspire me, they make me want to make something like that myself, while their bad songs make me remember why this style of music is not nearly as prevalent as it once was.
A phenomenon that I've noticed with a lot of prog bands is that their fucking awesome, twenty-minute long symphonic masterpieces will completely overshadow everything else on the album--the shorter songs which seem to have gotten far less attention, and just kind of suck in comparison. I first noticed this when listening to early Rush. I'll hear 2112 or the first song off of Hemispheres, both really long songs that ebb and flow in so many interesting ways and, in spite of their length, have many distinct, catchy parts that stick in my mind.
Then I listen to some shit like Passage to Bangkok or The Twilight Zone and I want to blow my head off.
The same thing happens with ELP. I think Tarkus may be one of the best classic examples of prog, the instrumental portions are so rhythmically complex that its difficult for me to wrap my head around, their sound being so immediately recognizable as ELP from the first measures. The vocal melodies, while simple, serve the song well, providing a nice break from the other, fucking insane instrumental parts.
Then I listen to some shit like Jeremy Bender or Are You Ready Eddy? and I want to blow my head off.
(Okay but Bitches Crystal is pretty cool though....)
About the only band which I think breaks out of the "side-two slump" (as I am now calling it, I am coining that term right now, credit it to me, I'm so clever) is Yes, which has their trademark structure of "really long song side one + two or three shorter songs side two." The difference between Yes and these other bands I've listed is that their side two's are pretty fucking awesome. Sound Chaser is one I can think of off the top of my head, one of my favorite Yes songs of all time, and it's smack in the middle of a three-song album that universally rips. Close to the Edge is another album I fucking love through and through, such an incredible record, it made me realize that there were more Yes albums than just Fragile.
On the topic of Fragile, I cannot imagine how people in 1971 must have felt listening to a band who had produced nothing but utter fucking garbage for three straight albums, then going to listen to maybe one of the best albums ever recorded. That album is so god damn good, I've talked at length with multiple people about how awesome it is. I don't know what switch flicked in everyone's heads that made them decide to start making quality music, but I appreciate it. To close, I'd recommend the band Camel, specifically their album Mirage, because that album bangs. You don't get a lot of the bloated songwriting you see in other prog albums, everything is a frantic exploration of a fantasy landscape; they don't waste your fucking time, and I appreciate it.
Also, shoutout Mike Oldfield, Steve Hillman, and other electronic prog artists I can't think of right now. If you haven't listened to Tubular Bells outside of what is in The Exorcist, you owe it to yourself to give it a whirl (god I should kill myself).
Yeah. I've been on a prog kick lately if you can't tell, instead of doing anything useful, I've been thinking about all of what I've written here, and more.

April 20, 2026

Fun weekend. Busy and stressful, but fun. Got to play maybe the biggest show with Grotesque that I've ever played, packed fucking room. Harrison's amp blew up during the last song so we cut our set short, but maybe the best I've ever played. Got to wear a dress, too, which is pretty cool
I had dubiously cooked chicken and am worried that I am getting sick. Unfortunately, I also didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so I can't be sure what is the cause. Ough.
Getting prepped to release dave single. Excited and scared. I hope people like it. Also planning on releasing some Jungle Jim's tracks that were only availabe physically soon, literally just because I have a good name for it. I remember I had more to write about but I forget what. Ough.
Got to spend a whole lot of time with my amazing girlfriend this weekend. I love that woman so damn much, I never knew I could love anyone to the extent I love her.
Been listening to the artist Dreamcastle a lot lately. Lego vaporwave, good shit. I feel almost embarrassed to think about LEGO because it makes me feel childish, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. It reminds me of when I was younger and was obsessed with everything LEGO. I still have all my LEGO Club Magazines from when I would get them every month, I need to dig those out of my parents place... It makes me almost tear up to think about. It seemed like the summers would never end when I was younger, I filled my time with things I enjoy, like going outside or playing video games or making short stop-motion animations with what few sets I had.
Those animations especially have a hold on my heart. I still remember making a lot of them, even the ones lost to time. My memories are the only remnant of these moments in my life.
I think my emotions are due to the fact that I've moved a lot in my life. In a lot of my oldest animations, you can see the walls and the carpet of my childhood bedroom, a place I spent the earliest years of my life. I can move through this room in my mind and remember every small detail about it.
I haven't lived in that place for almost a decade. A piece of me is in nearly every place I've ever lived because I have called these places home for years at a time, but the people who inhabit them will never know. I'm a ghost that haunts but is never revealed.
Maybe this has more underlying it, beyond me missing being a kid. I haven't lived in one place for more than a year since I was eighteen. I'm twenty now, and I've lived in four separate places since then. I say "lived" because (with the exception of my apartment this year) I've not been able to call any of them home, just places I inhabit for a while. It wasn't until I stayed in my parent's apartment this past weekend that I truly realized just how uncomfortable I've been in my living spaces in recent memory.
I'm an extremely paranoid person, bordering on delusional on occasion, but my apartment has allowed me a space to call my own, which I feel completely safe in. I can be unbothered for a long time and move freely without any concerns, but being back in my parents place was like being threatened by nothing. They're in the process of moving, so there's nothing in the apartment, just a couch and two beds in rooms across the unit from one another. My cats are there but they don't want to come up to me, they've forgotten who I am. The walls echo with every small noise. I cannot sleep because the sound of my breathing keeps me up from the other side of the room. I have to listen to YouTube out loud to block out the oppressive silence.
I think I'm grateful that I have a space that I call home now, because it puts the past couple years of my life into perspective. I feel like I can finally relax.

The feeling of food poisoning has gone away....

April 15, 2026

Listening back to the first DAVE album again. All things considered, not the worst. The bass playing sucks major dick but like for me having picked up bass in February and the album coming out in May, it could have been much worse. What I DON'T have an excuse for was how bad the bass playing was on D4VE. I had been playing bass for almost a year at that point and it STILL was bad.
Those old DAVE albums are weird because they're in the period where my drumming far outweighed my bass playing, but there's a certain charm to that. I was doing what I could and thought, naively, that it was quality music. At a certain point, pretty much right after D4VE came out, I just miraculously got better at bass.
Also, I don't know what the fuck happened, but my drums do NOT sound the way they used to. I think I need to retune my kick drum because it sounds like SHIT now.
Sorry I'm writing this as I actively listen back to the old DAVE albums. Maybe I am too hard on D4VE, it's honestly not the worst. I think I just remember the first song (which sucks) and judge the whole album on that merit, but honestly I forgot how decent some of the parts, especially the drum parts, are on that one. The bass playing is still buns. I feel like I used to be such a better drummer and now I'm washed and gay. The consequences of having responsibilities + not being able to play drums for three hours every day.
Oh well. Once I get a car and I don't live THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES from my drums, it is OVER for the city of Minneapolis.

note to self: remove deadname from bandcamp releases

April 14, 2026

Listening to Steve Hillman in class makes me feel like I'm discovering the secrets of the ancient worlds inside my mind. Shit is so good, it's like a less ambient version of a lot of the Steve Roach I've listened to. I was researching the dude and came across the Prog Rock Music Forum and, oh my god, it's a gold mine. I love how they haven't updated their shit in decades. Seeing people that have been active posters on these sites for as long as I've been alive, or longer, is so interesting to me. Some guy even hit the "PRMF golden age was 2006-09" in a post I was reading and I just got this feeling like I was sitting at dinner listening to my extended family members talk.
Other news. I'm having a lot of doubts about BasementDwellers as a live act. As in, I don't know how much longer I want to keep doing it.
I just feel like it requires such a specific environment to work well, and I don't have enough of a drive to play that I want to book a whole bunch of shows. Idk, maybe I'm just tired today but it seems like the act has lost its ability to be special. I do my bit and it's a similar bit each time, there's not much variation I can do. Maybe if I got a drummer but idk that would require me to have to set aside yet another day in my already busy week to practice, which I don't have time to do.
Not sure. A lot to think about and my brain is too stuffy with exhaustion to think about it clearly.

April 13, 2026

Currently not paying attention in class. Very long week I feel like my body is deteriorating. The weather is getting much nicer and I've been able to get out and spend time with my lovely girlfriend, Mandy :) God damn I love that woman. I'm such a faggot and only for her. I gave her CDs because she got a CD player and she's been listening to them and it makes me so happy to see her get new joy from things which I've enjoyed so much in the past. Seeing her smile brightens my day like nothing else.
I've been playing a lot of video games lately, which has been cool. I haven't had much time to this whole year but damn it feels nice to come home and just relax by playing old point-and-click games, or hopping on a call with friends who live across the country. Shoutout Charlie and Connor and Tristan and Alli.
I've been thinking a lot about when I first came to Minneapolis properly, and how I had this weird feeling in the back of my mind that I can't shake to this day. There's a part in the Philip K Dick book "Valis" which I think about a lot, where the narrator describes having visions of a different place superimposed over the place he lives, glimpses of a life long past. I feel like I get this same experience in Minnesota with visions of Ohio, especially when I'm driving late at night. The bends in the winding highway with strips of shops on either side, a few streetlights illuminating small spots on the road, the turns to get places being the same turns I would take back home. It's disorienting, I get confused when I look up and remember I'm hundreds of miles from where I thought I was. I keep expecting to wake up but I never do.

April 6, 2026

No longer unemployed. Life is fantastic. I've not been getting any sleep but it's okay.

April 3, 2026